I mean, what the hell do I
do if it comes back that I’m wanted by the police or the feds? What then?
Three squares and a shared porcelain throne? What if I did something completely illegal
(accidentally, of course) in my younger days and I never knew I left my prints
anywhere? What if I wandered into a
crime scene before it was a crime scene and my prints are somewhere just
waiting for a match?
I don’t like it.
If I have to get fingerprinted,
then everyone who volunteers at or comes into my school as an adult should also
be required to go through fingerprinting, and that includes every parent who
attends a school-related event. It’s
creepy, just damn creepy, to be required to submit my prints. Worse than that, it seems un-American. What’s next?
My frigging DNA?
On top of this insult is
the final smack – I have to pay for it.
Yup, they are requiring my prints and making me pay up. It’s almost worth getting arrested so I can
have it done for free. What a
rip-off. Every damn teacher in the state
has to pay $55 to a special company who will database our prints. Why can’t we go to the police station and do
it for free? I pay taxes, damnit.
I have to admit that since
education became federalized (illegal, by the way), teachers have become the
diapers of the American system: Everyone wants a chance to take a shit on
us. I’m not sure how much longer I can
stay in this profession with the increasing regulations. Next up, the requirement that I get an SEI
certification. The test costs $185 every
time I have to take it, and, if I fail, the course is over $1,000.
Plus, every five years I
have to pay the state to keep my license.
To KEEP it. KEEP. KEEP the goddamn profession for which I have an Associate’s degree, a
Bachelor’s degree, and two Master’s degrees… because according to the state,
that’s not enough and I cannot prove I’m intelligent or qualified enough to
KEEP my job.
I also have to take
professional development courses, some of which are taught by people who think
the SSR reading program is new (it’s about 30 years old) and by people who
haven’t set foot in a classroom … well … ever; they’ve NEVER set foot in a
classroom.
At least if I find out
that I’m actually a smooth criminal then I can quit this job and write novels
from my jail cell. Maybe I’ll go on the
run to Canada or Mexico or Monte Carlo.
Perhaps I’ll go rogue and live my life off the grid in the woods of Vermont
or the beaches of Aruba.
No matter. I don’t like it, plain and simple, but come
April 8th, the ink of my paws will forever be available to law
enforcement and covert government agencies all over the world. My identity will no longer be secret. I’ll be another digit in the database of the
giant political machine, and, goddamnit, I DO NOT APPROVE.
