I’ve tried to keep my
mouth shut, but as anyone who knows me also knows -- this is an exercise in
futility.
I understand the
haters. No, really, I do. I hated the Dallas Cowboys the minute they
became “America’s Team.” Don’t tell me
who or what represents America! I don’t
like the Cowboys to this day because of it.
Haters gonna hate.
Now, though – Now you’ve
gone too far, media.
Not only have you managed
to piss off Drew Bledsoe, you’ve forced Bill Belichick to string together more
words in one press conference than he has in total in every season he has
coached the New England Patriots.
You can kick us when we’re
up. We can take it. Remember us?
We used to be the Boston Patriots.
We used to fight with the Baltimore Colts (before they moved to Indy) as
the worst fucking team in the NFL … year after year after year after year. People kicked us when we were down, too.
We are used to failure; we
just don’t like it anymore.
That is why
we are good.
It’s not because we cheat
(we don’t) or bend the rules (we don’t) or beat up our spouses in elevators (we
don’t). We don’t make dogs fight, we don’t
put bounties on the heads of other players, and we don’t beat our children. I suppose that’s what America wants,
though. Stories like that sell.
Okay, maybe one of our former
players is a murderer. But we fired his
ass as soon as we figured it out.
Look, hate us all you
want, but this whole situation about the fucking footballs and the deflation of
footballs and the PSI and the weather and the laces and the skin and the color
of the ball and the height of the sky above the open-air stadium and God and
stars and aliens – Kids, it has to stop.
You’re just making
yourselves look retarded, media.
Re-tar-ded.
Will we win the Superbowl? Hell, I don’t know. I hope so.
I like Seattle. But what you want
to do by riling up the Patriots before a game like that? Really, media – Do you want us to take it out
on the field? That’s not right. What kind of bloodlust do you people have?
I’ll tell you what,
media. How about you attack politicians
and presidents and terrorists and radical religious fanatics and the usurping
of American values – how about you
attack these things with the same fervor and baseless accusations as you do a professional
football team? If only you would have
some integrity and some (inflated) balls, this world might be a better place.
But, no matter. Haters gonna hate. Keep publishing and spreading your ridiculous
accusations. Keep making yourselves look
like brainless sheep. I am now officially
embarrassed to have ever been involved with journalism in any way, shape, or
form, and I thank the day I encountered a journalism professor/program advisor
so incredibly stupid that I changed out of the program lest I become exactly
what you all are: Lemmings of the lowest
common denominator.
There. I’m done.
Unlike the reporters who lie, unlike the spineless liars at Sports Illustrated and the banshees at ESPN and countless other idiots
(including many of our own local sports people), I refuse to buy into this
bullshit.
Accusing a team of this
caliber with absolutely zero evidence? That, my retarded journalistic lemming
friends, is the true exercise in futility.
