My friend calls me up this
morning to tell me a story. It’s the
story of a shirt, a championship shirt, a New England Super Bowl shirt that she
is trying to secure for a friend.
This is no easy task.
You see, we have been
pretty much deadlocked by giant snow banks for the last 36 hours, so getting
the merchandise to the store, then getting the consumers to the merchandise,
has all been a messy chain of events. But
my friend is determined to help her friend, so she goes on a quest.
Since the roads still
suck, she decides to call around, see if she can find the championship shirts
anywhere so she isn’t driving all over the place searching. She calls a few stores, then she decides that
Target is really close by. Maybe they’ll
have some NE Patriots Super Bowl shirts.
After bouncing around
between departments, she is finally handed off to the men’s department. This is a facsimile of how it goes:
CLERK: Hello, men’s department.
FRIEND: Hello, I was wondering if you have Super Bowl
shirts yet.
CLERK: We have Super Bowl shirts?
FRIEND: Patriots shirts. Do you have the Super Bowl Patriots shirts?
CLERK: We have Patriots shirts. Why would we have Super Bowl shirts?
FRIEND: Because the team won the Super Bowl.
CLERK: We don’t know that yet.
FRIEND: Um… what?
CLERK: We won’t know who wins until they play the
game. Only the people with the envelope
know. We don’t even know the teams yet.
FRIEND: Um … what?
CLERK: Look, only the people with the sealed
envelope know who’s in the Super Bowl.
FRIEND: But … but the Patriots won.
CLERK: No, only the people with the envelope know
that.
At this point, my friend
hangs up. Look, I’m not saying that
people at Target are stupid, but this person, this clerk, is not the first
person my friend talks to at the store.
No one knew who won the Super Bowl, hence why they kept transferring her
to other departments. How can that many
clueless people all work in the same place?
Please, please, oh please, someone who works at Target tell me they were
just playing a joke on my friend, on anyone who called about Patriots Super
Bowl Championship shirts.
If it’s not a joke, could
someone please open that envelope and let the people who work under a rock at
Target know … WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS… again.
