Well, school break is
over, and it wasn’t much different than the days we had cancelled due to
snow. The week started with snow, had
some snow in the middle, and ended with snow. Also, I got very little
accomplished, and I’m blaming it on the weather.
Sunday (yesterday) I am
out doing something familiar – shoveling snow.
I say to my neighbor (who shares my double-wide brick driveway), “Hey,
isn’t this a novelty!” She has been chipping
away at the massive pile of snow on her side of the driveway, which she and the
landlord allowed to get to heights nearing five feet. (Okay, I admit that I added to the pile when
I realized no one would care.) Today is
a bad day to be shoveling because today it is warm and sunny and beautiful,
which means the snow is wet and sticky and heavy.
I am chipping away at the
massive amount of ice that has encrusted my driveway and walkway. The walkway is a lost cause; it is the
run-off area for the roof, so it will be frozen solid until late spring. The driveway, though, is a different
story. In some places the ice is several
inches thick, but I am determined.
Unfortunately I busted my ice chopper years ago. No matter – with the brickwork, my landlord
would probably shit a porpoise if he caught me using a blade. Armed with a beat-up old plastic shovel, I
start scraping and whacking at the giant ice clusters all over my side of the
driveway.
I quickly realize that I
am overdressed. I am used to
temperatures topping out at about 14 degrees Fahrenheit with wind chills severe
enough to freeze off limbs in a matter of minutes. I lose the coat, then the hat, then the
gloves, then I run into the house to change into near-summer clothing: short-sleeved
t-shirt, light sweatshirt, and jeans.
Even in these, sweat pours off of me and makes my clothes clammy.
After an hour of arduous
physical labor, I run into the house and grab a beer. I chug some of it, slam the bottle into a
snowbank, and keep working. I need a
break from the ice work because it is killing my shoulders, so I head back to
the walkway, chug more beer, replace the bottle into a closer snowbank, and I get
to work widening the path. I finally see
two stone walls, one of each side. I
haven’t seen any stonework since January 26th, which, coincidentally,
is also the last time I saw my trash cans.
I shuttle back and forth for
another hour between the icy driveway and widening the walkway. The bottle of beer, long emptied, remains in
the snowbank, and I head to the end of the driveway to work more on the
ice. My neighbor continues her task of
taking shovelfuls of snow from her side of the driveway and across the
street. This is her first New England
winter as a transplant from Virginia. I
assure her this is an unusual stretch of weather as I chopchopchop at a huge,
thick chunk of ice near the road.
My neighbor drops her load
of snow and sighs as she passes me. I
glance over and apologize. “I’d pick it
up for you if I had the strength, but I don’t think I can lift another thing
today.” She understands, god bless her.
I grab my empty bottle and
head back toward my house, the walkway still ice-coated but now wide enough for
me and a bag of groceries to go through.
I have been at this snow shit for over two hours now. I would love to stay outside because it’s
beautiful, gorgeous, warm, spring-like; who the hell knows when we will see
this weather again? But, I am exhausted
and my lower back, my shoulders, my knees, and my elbows are screaming at me
for mercy. Besides, I probably have a
sunburn being out so long. (No, this is
not being facetious.)
I take a shower and start
laundry, my winter break nearing its end.
What have I accomplished? My list
of things to do was mentally scratched out so long ago: Work on school stuff
(nope), clean the basement (nope), ice skate (rink was plowed over), read a
book or two (read five), get some writing done (“some” being the operative word),
go to two lacrosse scrimmages (both cancelled due to icy conditions), go out to
eat (several times), get my hair cut (and foiled), organize my den (books are organized,
but not much else). I have done other
things that weren’t on my list, like snowshoeing and drinking coffee (I’m a tea
person) and making guacamole and knocking icicles off the edge of the roof
(every single day). But, no, the
computer files aren’t any better off than they were a week ago, and my school
bag remains untouched.
I do have biceps of steel
from shoveling snow, though, because my entire February has been
shoveling. I have been moving this white
shit around since January 27th when we got dumped on the first
time. The forecast looks good for a few
days, maybe some flurries on Wednesday (which is the official opening to the
college lacrosse season up here in the Northeast). I’m ready – One thing I did do over break is
load the car up with a shovel, some kitty litter, and a container of ice
melt. This is a sure bet that the snow
is over because I am prepared. My
biggest accomplishment this week has been to stop Old Man Winter through the
old bait and switch irony.
You’re welcome – no extra
charge.
