To
my fellow teachers who have altered their union contracts and now return to
school before Labor Day: I go back to work on the 4th and have
students coming on the 8th.
That’s
right. I get another week off and you
don’t. And guess what? Today it hits 90.
You
want to know something else? Many kids
don’t use deodorant even though someone (parents) should tell them that it’s
necessary, and by “necessary” I mean, “Put that shit on your armpits DAILY.” And you’ll be stuffed into a hot classroom
with these stinky cherubs for an entire week longer than I will be.
What’s
that you say? Starting a week later
means I get out later? Really?
I
call bullshit.
For
all the holidays your district gets, there are many my district doesn’t get, so
we damn the torpedoes and continue on head-first until June when, surprise, you
still get out the same day I do because your superintendent declared too many
snow days due to the over-confidence of an early start.
When
I was a kid in elementary school, one year we started early, too. This just pissed off Mother Nature, who
buried us in snow. We had to go to
Saturday school for about five weeks in a row.
We didn’t gain any days on the far end of this plan; we ended up
sacrificing our weekends for The Greater Good, and The Greater Good screwed us,
anyway.
To
all my colleagues who are headed back into the trenches so soon, have a blast. I’ll
see you in a week because if my union ever votes to go back to school while it’s
still mid-summer, heads are going to roll.
My tirade will make Queen Elizabeth I look like a sane woman.
This
is why I cannot possibly work before Labor Day, but I will salute you from the
beach.
