We are out having a quick round of drinks after a long work
week. It's the anchor crew, me and a
science teacher, along with some of our usual orbit crowd - two math teachers. Apparently social studies and phys ed are
ignoring us this week. Usually there are
a few more of us, but we've spent the entire afternoon sitting in meetings ("professional
development" in taxpayerese), and most of the gang just wanted to get the
hell outta Dodge.
It's not an unpredictable round of drinks -- Bud Light, Coors Light, Blue Moon, and a
Margarita in a beer mug; we're a low-brow if not motley crew. We are waiting, though, for our resident
fru-fru drinker who has mistakenly gone to the wrong place. It's not his fault -- Did I mention we were
catatonic in meetings all afternoon?
When he does finally arrive (truthfully, he must've
teleported there because he has arrived in no time flat), we kid him because he
isn't a beer drinker, but one might expect a non-beer-drinking guy (who is a
sports guy and part-time construction guy in addition to being a science whiz)
to go for something with a bit of brute and bite to it: Jack Daniels, gin and tonic, shots. But the truth is that I have never seen him
sip anything that didn't have a pink umbrella sticking out of it.
You know the cocktails I mean … Fru-fru drinks.
We are all on edge waiting to see what he will order, and he
doesn't disappoint. No sooner is he
standing by our table, hasn't even been seated yet, when he calls out,
"Rita Trio." Then his cell
phone rings.
The waitress brings over the holder with three different
Margaritas in three medium-sized glasses, each one with crystals on the rim
(salt or sugar, or perhaps a sampling of both) and fruit jammed into the tops. We can see our gentleman pal is deep into an
important conversation, so we start oohing and aaahing over his drinks,
generally making assholes out of ourselves in order to ruin his phone call.
Here's the thing - Science Guy may order the fru-fru drinks,
but he's man enough to skip the cutsie straws and suck those puppies down
straight from the lip of the glasses. He's
clearly enjoying the Rita Trio, they are obviously delicious, and I am suddenly
aware of how jealous I am that I didn't think to order something other than the
watered down, light, draft beer sitting in front of me … the beer that is going
to make me pee four times because it's nothing more than a ridiculously
over-priced diuretic.
I think next time we go out, I'm going to order a fru-fru
drink, too, maybe even ask for the paper parasol and an extra cherry. If the drink is going to flush right through
my system anyway, might as well make it worth my while.
Who says teachers aren't life-long learners? Cheers, my friends. Enjoy your weekend.
