Goddamn politicians.
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While I am at the gas pump today, while the nozzle is inside
my car, the computer automatically changes the gas prices. Now, if the prices fell, I would be jumping up
and down. As it turns out, I am jumping
up and down because the price is climbing as gas is emptying into my car.
"I'm sorry," the attendant says, "but I have
no control over what the computer does."
I search around in vain for Gas Station Guy, my go-to guy,
but he is nowhere to be seen. Attendant
Guy has in his hands the gadget that changes the gas prices. He is watching it, wide-eyed, and backs away
from me as I rage. I mean, when I pulled
into the station, shut my car off, and started getting gas, the price was $3.51
per gallon, which is highway robbery as it is.
"It's not fair," I whine. "You haven't even raised the price on
the sign yet."
I feel sorry for the guy, I really do. I am reasonably sure this poor man is the
owner of the station, and I know the higher the prices go, the less business he
will have. People will fill up at
convenience stores, lesser chains, and other places just to save a few pennies.
But, for god's sake, could he please wait until I'm done
gassing up before he hits me for the higher price. I understand it's not really his fault, not
directly, anyway. It's Obama's
fault. It has to be. If everything was Bush's fault when he was
president, and everything was Clinton's fault when he was president, and all
the world was in danger when Jefferson took office centuries ago, then
certainly there is no one to blame except the elite minion with the large ears
who hasn't bought his own gas since the prices were under $2 a gallon.
Attendant Guy seems to be filling the car as fast as he can,
and he hands me the receipt. "I did
what I could for you," he assures me, "I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry."
No, I'm the one who's sorry. I'm sorry the out-of-touch politicians are
ruining this country. I'm sorry that
computers automatically raise gas prices simply to screw us while we are
filling our tanks. I'm sorry I voted in
the last election because all the parties seemed to have disenfranchised the
Common Citizen. And I'm damn sorry I
didn't buy gas yesterday when I had the chance.
It's not fair.
Goddamned politicians.
