I had been sucking on Cold-Eeze lozenges for about a week. I decide that before I go to bed, I'll hit up the Cold-Eeze one more time. I dissolve the thing (over time) and finally the whole lozenge is gone. I am thinking I should probably get to bed soon, so I start walking toward the bathroom to brush my teeth.
Wrong. There is nothing on my tongue except a boiling hot spot that is now starting to bubble up like burning plastic. I run to the large mirror and stick out my tongue. An oval in the center of my tongue is turning a blackish color, and boils of tongue skin are erupting as I am starting to self-combust via my mouth.
All I can think of is that a hole will burn through, like Chernobyl, and I'll have to stick something into my tongue like a giant disc or some stopper to prevent food from falling through the chasm that used to be my tongue. I run to the freezer, grab an ice cube, and immediately start icing the burning area of my tongue. The ice melts quickly.
While holding the cube on my tongue, I use my other hand to Google "Cold-Eeze burnt tongue." Amazingly enough, many posts come pinging up. Apparently, this is a common side-effect. Great. So, in order to feel better from this cold, I guess I have to burn a giant hole through my tongue.
Hours later, there is still a fairly significant indentation in my tongue, surrounded by blistered skin. Also, I still have crap in my lungs and my voice is shot to Hell, only now I cannot talk because I've barbecued the inside of my mouth with a damn Cold-Eeze lozenge.
I should've just stayed sick. This cure is totally worse than the disease.
