Sunday, March 12, 2017

BEEPING BEEP

I almost forget to change the clocks.  It totally slips my mind until I see someone post a reminder on Facebook.  I run around at 9:30 p.m. and turn all the clocks to 10:30 p.m.  This is a great strategy until I try to watch the 11 o'clock news.  Wrong.  It's only 10 o'clock.  First I forget to set them forward, then thirty minutes later I forget I already did.

The real problem isn't the time change.  The real problem stems from the "spring forward, check the batteries in your detectors" mentality.  The real problem continues to be the CO monitors in my house.  Lest you worry that I am dying from carbon monoxide, I can assure you that this house is so poorly insulated and has so many gaps (like the front door) that there is probably more fresh air circulating in here than if I were outside in a tent with the flaps open.  It doesn't matter if I have the battery-only monitors or the battery/plug-in kinds -- They chirp, they chirp, they chirp.

These monitors don't screech like I'm going to asphyxiate.  Nope.  They chirp.  I'll put in new batteries, test the monitors, then within hours they start to chirp like the batteries are dying.  You know the chirp.  The piercing half-chirp that happens once every hour or so.  That little blip that makes you jump for a moment then swear your head off because it's so annoying.

Chances are if the noises keep happening that I will pull the batteries out and toss the bastards into the trash -- like I did with one already today.  If I'm dying from poisonous gas, let me know; if you're trying to disrupt my sleep patterns and make me mental, you're doing a great job, CO monitors.

I should've forgotten about the clock.  If I did, the batteries never would've been replaced in the CO monitors, and I wouldn't be sitting here anticipating the next ear splitting BOOP from the wall.  Of course, if I wake up dead from CO, this blog can become evidence.  I tried. Really, I did.  I guess I'm just seasonally challenged.

Morning update -- I had a terrible headache last night, so I took the batteries out and unplugged CO monitor.  It continued to make a quiet whining sound as if wires were crossed inside.  I tossed it onto the patio, where it remains in the 7 degree cold air.  Apparently there is CO outside because it is still whining just a teeny bit.  :(