Bad news: Winter is going to last about seven more weeks.
Good news: Spring is only a month and a half away.
Punxsutawney Phil can bite me. Well, no, he really shouldn't because he's a rodent, and the whole biting thing is just a tad kinky. I mean he can bite me in the rhetorical sense.
I don't give a capybara's ass if he sees his shadow or not.
We have six-plus more weeks of winter either way. It blizzards in April here. Ice is the newest accessory. Heavy socks are the new high fashion. Flannel never looked so good.
Get over it. Suck it up. Put on your man-pants.
And if anyone has a loaded shotgun, when Phil sticks his fat head out of the hole, shoot the fucker.
