Tuesday, June 19, 2018

SO MUCH SUNSCREEN

How can you tell that your grown children are still involved in outdoor team sports?

Well, the answer could be "from the amount of dirty laundry that will suddenly, all in one day, turn up in the laundry hamper."  The answer could also be "from the wafting odor of eau de sweaty (insert: socks, cleats, shin guards, goalie pads, shoulder pads, gloves, helmet ...)."  The answer could even be "from the massive pile-up near the front door of sports equipment, such as golf clubs and lacrosse sticks and soccer balls."

The true answer: You can tell that your grown children are still involved in outdoor team sports by the number of semi-full canisters of sports-grade-SPF sunscreen you have littering your house.  (Bonus points if you count the canisters in the kids' cars.)

Today I discover eight containers of sunscreen at various levels of use.  To be honest, the three bottles and one squeeze container are mine.  Also, to be honest, three of my four containers are almost completely empty, and the fourth bottle is less than half full.  My son's four canisters, though, are all three-quarters full or more.

How do I know that the four canisters of sunscreen belong to my son?  They're all sports formulas, specifically made to stand up to the sweating body.  The only time I use sports-formula sunscreen is for our school's Field Day (coming up Friday) when I have to be on the artificial turf, where the temperature is considerably higher due to the turf's synthetic composition, and where there is no shade ... NONE.  Zero.  Nada. 

Yup, if I use my usual coconut-smelling low-number sunscreen, I'll fry up like a piece of crispy bacon and will look like a boiled lobster before I even make the half-mile trek back up the hill to the school.  That's my version of outdoor team sports, and I'll be glad when it's over and I can get back to my beach-sunscreen mode. 

Bring on summer!