Students say the darnedest things.
Last year a student looked up at me while I was passing back
papers, stopped what he was doing, and said very loudly, too loudly, "I
never noticed that before!"
Um … noticed
what? Your paper? Your grade?
The ceiling?
"You have really long eye lashes!"
I looked around. He
was talking about … me. Creepy.
Last week a student was talking to me face to face and all
of a sudden she stopped mid-sentence and remarked, "Wow, your eyes are
really BLUE."
Um, yes. Yes, they are.
I responded, "Thank goodness, because last week with my
cold, they were red."
Today is even stranger.
One of my students gets out of her seat and starts sniffing around the
room. "Nope, I can only smell it
over HERE!"
Horrified, I figure they are referring to the young men in
the class who have just come from gym and smell a little rank. I keep saying, "I don't smell anything….
I really don't smell anything…"
Then she instructs me to stand in front of the fan. "It's YOU!" she announces to the
entire class.
Oh, my god, me? I smell?!
I took a shower and washed my hair.
How can I smell?
The girl and her table of cohorts take turns coming up to me
and trying to sniff me. Swear to god,
they are like bizarre dogs or something.
Then , if this is even possible, it gets WORSE. The girls start naming different fragrances I
might be wearing:
"Is it Coach? Is
it Macy's? Is it… (and, over the course
of the next few minutes, I hear the name of two dozen high to middle to low-end
fragrances on the market or the stores in which they are sold)."
Now, I usually wear the same fake, imitation body spray, day
in and day out. However, today I
switched it up. I feel like if I don't
tell them, they're just going to keep going with this. I am incredibly embarrassed that I, a
middle-aged-plus teacher. have students sniffing me in the first place and even
more so that it's because the girls recognize the scent but cannot place it.
Finally, I lean over to one of the girls and whisper,
"Victoria Secret."
Her eyes grow wide, and a huge smile breaks across her
face. "I knew it!" she yells
out. "I called it! I know perfumes."
The other girls join in with, "We knew you smelled
different today!"
Say … what? Oh … my …. great … goodness. They know my smell? Holy crap, did I even shower this
morning? I usually shower at night. What do I normally smell like? Do they mean because I changed perfume
today? Do they mean because I actually
smell clean for once? What are they
trying to tell me?
Apparently I have long lashes and blue eyes and I smell, all
of which I never thought unusual until twelve-year-olds became fascinated by
these things. I think I need a perfume
sampler. I'm going to wear different
fragrances every day just to play with them.
It's my "Old Lady" collection, according to my own kids. Imitation Giorgio one day, Victoria Secret
another day. Maybe I'll invest in some
Coco Chanel just to totally blow their minds and senses.
Thanks, students. You really do say the darnedest things.
