How great is it to be inside the belly of the new school
building project?
Today I am giving a quiz in my class, the first official one
of the school year, the first one that requires everyone to be silent and
concentrate -- no chatting, no collaborating, no working in groups -- just
silence and brain waves filling up the room.
Until the construction equipment starts making noises.
Emanating from the bowels of the new gym comes a long, loud,
vibrating sound that rumbles like concrete and steel digestion across the site,
through the closed windows, and into the classroom. It sounds like a groan from the depths of
Hell.
In short, it sounds like a massive case of gas.
The kids are all trying to ignore it, but the crescendo and
the shock waves that the whole incident causes are distracting them all.
I am sitting at my own desk across the room and away from
the windows that are slowly rattling in their casings. Without even looking up, I say politely,
"Well, Michael. EXCUSE YOU!"
There are several Michaels in the room, so if one claims to
be offended I might simply blame another.
Instead, the kids laugh, they relax, and the quiz goes on without
another interruption, though the construction continues its ghastly (gassy?)
sounds for the remainder of the day.
Sometimes you have to know when to fold and just go wherever
the broken wind takes you. Besides, it's
not often I get a comedic door that wide open so early in the morning. I'd be remiss in my duties as a middle
schooler (yes, there's a reason some of us are stuck in junior high mode
forever) if I let a decent fart joke slip by.
Too bad the construction crew quits work at 3:00 because
Back-To-School Night starts at 6:30, and that would be a great one to pull on
an unsuspecting parent.
Yup, and they still haven't fired me. Go figure.
