We’re moving our school
again. We moved from our middle school
to the old high school last June, but this has been a temporary
assignment. Too bad, because I don’t
mind the old building – it’s all cinderblock and asbestos. Okay, so the windows
don’t open and shut without needing weightlifters to help, and the nearest
faculty bathroom is in New Jersey, but still.
It’s really not that awful.
 |
| (last year's bins - ready to go) |
This June, we move back to
the refurbished middle school; hopefully, our last move for a while.
I start the packing
process in earnest. My class novels go
into boxes, and the boxes go into bins, which are really crates on wheels. I am going to need more than the standard
four crates. Lots more. Like twenty more. So, this morning I grab myself another batch
of four bins/crates on wheels and push them up the ramps to my classroom.
Naturally, I am tempted to
jump into the crates and ride them right down the three ramps. I mean, it’s a clear shot all the way down
four floor’s worth of distance.
Oh, but there are
surveillance cameras everywhere. I know
this because I think the principal saw me whip a pencil eraser at my co-teacher
in the hallway, and the eraser bounced off her ass and flew another fifteen
feet through the air. Yup, I’m pretty
sure that was caught on camera and part of the tape that was reviewed due to a
student-related issue from later in the film loop.
“Oh, look, there’s that
student, and … wait … what the hell was that?
Did Heliand just assault that teacher?
Holy crap! What an arm! Perfect aim.
We need her on our faculty softball team…”
Later on, a second
co-teacher approaches me and notices I have more moving crates on wheels tucked
away in my room. “Aren’t you just
tempted to ride in a bin down the ramps?”
Oh. My. God. I
totally AM.
Something tells me that
before this year is over I will probably lose my job due to either eraser
assault on one teacher, as caught on camera and probably broadcast all over
social media, or due to moving bin races through the ramps of the school. Either way, I’m hoping for bail money,
people, so be ready.
