While I am on an island day trip, I encounter a young man who is completely unclear on the concept of cell phones. Apparently, his cell phone is nothing more than a 1970s transistor radio. He has the volume of his phone up full blast, and the speaker of the phone is attached to his ear.
I first notice him walking around the island shops. He is tall, young, scruffy, and looks a bit like he might be homeless; he seems to be carrying his world on his back. I spot him a few more times around town, always with his phone up to his ear.
As we work our way down to the ferry dock, the man with the phone somehow ends up in front of us yet again. Guess what he is doing? Listening to his cell phone up to his ear. Now that we are in a compact line, I hear some kind of music.
Wrong again. He is listening to hip-hop music. From his cell phone. Stuck to his ear.
Buddy, I'm sure you must have some kind of a brain. After all, you were able to purchase a ticket and find the ferry out here to the island from Portland, and you seem to know your way back to Portland, too. But,really guy, you've lost me (and apparently anyone else who sees you, based on their reactions).
There's an new invention, probably been around for about sixty years, called HEADPHONES. They even make them in miniature called EAR BUDS. For god's sake, go buy yourself some; go buy yourself some damned ear attachments so you don't look like a complete and total blithering idiot.
I cannot tell if he is just another tourist, or, perhaps a Maine-lander, or maybe he's an island resident. I don't know. All I know is if you want to listen to music on your cell phone, BUY SOME DAMN HEADPHONES. Listening to music via your phone is a lot more effective (and a LOT less CREEPY) if you're the ONLY one having the experience for the moment. Otherwise, dude, you're just completely and totally and irrevocably UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT.
