Now, to be fair, I've always been a bit of a jeans and t-shirt kind of a gal. I appreciate nice clothing but never quite caught on the sense of some of the recent fashion trends. For example, boys wearing their pants around their ankles. Unless you're two and potty training, it's not a look worth sporting.
I like watching Project Runway and poring over pattern catalogs. Of course, I can only sew straight lines, so that limits me a bit in my creativity, but still it's a bit of an addiction. Then, after living vicariously through the pages of Simplicity or the Lifetime channel, I go back to jeans, sweats, and fleece. It's fun to look, though, and this is what gets me into trouble.
I am trolling through Facebook when I come across a suggested post: Couture Week in Paris. Ooooh, laaaa laaaa! I wonder what fashions there are! They must be so exciting since it's couture, whatever the frik that means. The first few fashions don't intrigue me -- see-through clothing, like completely sheer. Oh yes, my three-times-through-childbirth hips and waistline and my middle-aged lopsided boobs would look ravishing in a see-through gown. But, there are a few almost-normal outfits that interest me: simple yet elegant, and totally and completely copy-able.Then, though .... then arrives The Fashion Freak Show.
I'll digress for a moment and admit that I have been to the ICA in Boston. The ICA stands for the Institute of Contemporary Art, which is shorthand speak for "pathetic excuses for art that wouldn't earn a grade school student a D on the best of days." Some of the "fine art" displayed there includes a ream of white paper glued together in a neat pile, a wooden chair nailed to the wall, and a pile of old television sets. Thank goodness I got in there on a free-pass day or else I would've punched out the smug docent who followed us around trying to educate us on the finer points of why crap passes for art in his world.
Bring it back to present day couture fashion, which is the Emperor's clothing at worst and the ICA crap at best. Suddenly my eyes are barraged with what passes for modern clothing: dresses with cut out lips pasted on them, sequined lobster shirts, white go-go boots, and see-through/peekaboo privates.
Either I just don't "get" fashion, or else I am the stupidest person on the face of Earth. Either way, I would neither buy nor wear this shit ... unless I'm going to the ICA. In that case, I'd stand in a corner of the room and pretend to be a display. I could totally pull that one off.
