JUST ONE MORE REASON TO DESPISE SHOPPING

What's worse than going to the store without your shopping list?  Worse than bringing your list but forgetting a pen to cross things off as you go?

Answer:  Bringing your list and bringing a pen that worked perfectly well ten minutes before, but now the damn pen won't work.  I try everything, even using a lasagna noodle box as a writing surface, shaking the pen and forcing it across the paper, doing little more than ripping a giant gash across the list.

(back of my list -- with holes in it)

Oh, sure, I can use the otherwise useless pen to poke holes in my list, quite literally scratching out the list as I go, which is exactly what I do.  This sort of works except for one teeny problem: I brought cash with me, and I need to mind my spending to keep it within the amount in my pocket.

I immediately start looking for the aisle with pens and other stationery items, but this is a tiny grocery store.  Yes, the store has fabric dye and dog bones and wooden spoons, but it doesn't have tape, envelopes, or pens.  I am, to be exact, shit out of luck.

I try mentally keeping track of my total dollar amount, but I'm not a human abacus.  Eventually I start wondering if I'm at $27 or maybe it was $32 or perhaps I'm at $19.  I don't even frigging know at this point.

As suddenly as my pen stopped working fifteen minutes earlier, it magically starts working again somewhere near the baking goods aisle.  I quickly start calculating the items in my cart, but I cannot remember how much items were from five or six aisles over.  Was it $2? $3?  $5?  I cannot recall, so I start randomly assigning prices to things.

When I finally finish shopping, I underestimate my total amount by $17.  I rarely carry plastic anymore after having my debit card hacked, and I have to admit that I'm really liking not leaving a paper trail behind me.  Except, of course, my paper list.  My list that has pen scratches; my list that has numbers all over it; my list that has holes in it from a fickle pen that takes its sweet time to work (and nearly gets itself tossed to oblivion in the middle of the produces section).

Frigging pen.  Just one more reason to despise shopping.