The hot flashes are bad enough, but in the last couple of weeks, two dreadful things have happened: The maintenance staff fixed the heat at work, and the weather has been unseasonably warm.
It's like everyone's trying to kill me.
This is my day:
2:00 a.m. -- Throw covers off in fit of heat rage even though heat is off and fan is on
2:15 a.m. -- Pull covers back on as I am now frozen
4:00 a.m. -- Repeat 2:00 and 2:15 a.m. performance
5:00 a.m. -- Wake up for work; start making bed; have another hot flash
6:30 a.m. -- Run outside to defrost car; no need for a coat because I am sweating bullets
6:40 a.m. -- Drive to work with heat on the windshield to keep it frost free but with windows open so I don't die of heat prostration
7:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m. -- Spend my day at work turning fan on, turning fan off, putting sweater on, taking sweater off, turning beet red from hot flashes, turning blue from being icy cold
3:00 p.m. -- Drive home with all the windows wide open so I don't sweat to death
3:30 p.m. - 11:00 p.m. -- Alternate between being boiling hot and freezing cold; fans on, fans off; sweatshirt on, sweatshirt off; windows open, windows closed. Take a shower (sometimes the second or third of the day)
11:00 p.m. -- Turn on fan in bedroom and attempt to go to sleep. Wake up about ten minutes later having hot flash
Midnight -- Have another hot flash, roll around kicking covers off then pull them back on frantically when body temperature drops suddenly
When the fuck does this bullshit end? Don't tell me "never," because I will come to your house and cut you. Yes, I'm mentally done with menopause, and I'm not even remotely kidding.
