Wednesday, April 26, 2017

EASY COME, EASY GO

About six months ago, I was driving around in North Carolina while wearing the wrong glasses.  I had on my reading glasses, not my driving glasses.  Yup, I would rather wear two different pairs of $4 glasses than invest $500 in one pair of dual-purpose glasses.  Rather than risk an accident after dark driving in a new place, I jumped the border to South Carolina, hit Wal-Mart, and bought myself some $7 glasses.

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I love these glasses.  They're a good color (teal) and fit my face perfectly.  They're not too tight nor too loose around my head, and they're large enough to keep my peripheral driving vision fully functional.  I wear these glasses to work every day.

Or, rather, I hope to wear them to work every day.

Today, for the first time since buying the glasses, I lose them.  One second they are on my head; the next, they are not.  I look all over my classroom and cannot find them, knowing full-well I had them on my head less than five minutes prior.  I even enlist the math teacher who shares my room and the students she teaches.  Finally, while re-tracing my steps to my mailbox, the students find my glasses back in my room.

Score!

Then things get weird.  I lose the glasses again before I leave school.  I find them again, and I am quite certain that they are on my head as I rush outside to head home.  It's pouring rain, so I am pretty sure I tuck them into my coat pocket, the pocket on my left; the pocket on my right holds my cell phone.  I swear that this happens: I put them on my head in the car and wipe the rain off them so I can read an incoming text.

However, when I arrive home (without ever getting out of my car), the glasses are gone.  I check the car twice, looking under seats, along the sides of things, but still, no glasses.  Did they fall out of my pocket in the parking lot at school?  Did I hallucinate that I brought them home in the first place?  I go through my backpack not once, not twice, but four times.  FOUR.  I am so sure that I had them in the car that now I am questioning my sanity.

Oh, well.  The glasses are probably in the parking lot somewhere, and I probably ran them over on my way out of the parking spot.  If I'm super-lucky, I forgot them on my desk at school and will find them there in the morning, but I am not holding out much hope.