PERFECT GIFT

I get together with some pals today for some fun in the semi-sun.  Before I arrive, one of these pals messages me that he is bringing me a surprise.  Ladies, we all know what a man usually means when he tells us he is bringing us a surprise.  It's either his dirty laundry (as in real laundry that needs to be washed), or it's just plain old something dirty.

When I arrive at the gathering, my buddy asks me if I want my surprise right now or later.  Since we are standing in another friend's kitchen and there are several people present, I assume that my present is something fit to be seen by other people.  This is a huge relief.

It takes my pal about thirty seconds to get his hands inside the bag and around whatever it is he is planning on giving me.  He orders me to put out my hands and close my eyes.  (Yes, I hold my hands high above waist level as I am still not completely sure what I am getting myself into here.)  Then he places something heavy in my hands. 

The item, whatever it is, feels like a bowling ball but not as glossy.  This sphere has a matte finish, so the sides are smooth but not slippery.  I can't even imagine what it is I am holding, so I open my eyes.

It's a bomb.

Okay, it's not a real bomb (at least, I hope it's not real), but it looks just like one.  Slowly I turn it over in my hands.  My pal has put the letter F onto the side of the sphere.

He gives me the perfect F-Bomb. 

This is why I love my friends, folks.  These simple attentions to detail make my day.