SERIAL WORK

I don't write about work much because, hey, I'll get fired. But I will say this:  Sometimes work is like a big, fat, giant soap opera.  Or a drama.  Or a comedy.  Or Dark Shadows.

I'm willing to bet this sentiment is applicable to lots of jobs, lots of workplaces, lots of venues.

Let's think about it for a moment. 

There's usually the head honcho who is either a raving asshole or an ineffectual ignoramus.  Often times both parts will be cast so one can act as the straight man (in a comedy) or the scapegoat (in a drama) or the fall guy (in a soap opera).  This part is usually played by the most educated yet clueless one to make it more ironic and because it's more realistic that way.

Then there's the goofy middle man who pats you on the back while holding a sharp knife.  In a soap opera, he just wields that knife above your head for a month or two.   In a comedy, he holds it in the wrong hand and stabs himself,  In a drama, he stabs you right in the back and turns the knife until your entrails crawl out.  In Dark Shadows, someone would come by and eat your entrails, which happens at work sometimes, too.

The supporting cast is often made up of the standard stereotypes:  The jock/coach, the artsy-fartsy guy/gal, the glamour guy/girl, the frumpy one, the partier, the political whack-job, the lunatic ... pretty much etc. etc. etc.

And there's always bad acting.  Always.  The brown-nosers don't think anyone knows they're brown-nosing, and the cheerleaders don't think anyone knows they're holding invisible pom-poms, the comedians aren't nearly as funny as they wish to be, and the ones walking around with the slow smiles and twinkling eyes are the Evil Ones.  Seriously.  Watch out for me ... er ... them.  Yeah.  Them Evil Ones.  Those people.

The main reason why work is often like a television show, regardless of the genre, is because usually nothing productive ever gets accomplished, but damn we all sure do pretend it does.  And we repeat the same shit over and over and over and over until it's like a scripted routine because we are supposedly highly paid professionals.

The only difference is that we employees actually expect this to change at some point and become normal and sane.

Oh yeah, and there aren't any random Viagra commercials.  That, too.