RANDOM OBSERVATIONS:
* All day Wednesday I thought it was Thursday.
* I just realized that Thursday is not Friday.
* I am seriously considering moving to a studio apartment in the sticks of New Hampshire or Maine.
* I am seriously considering finding a job back in retail management.
* I am seriously considering that the general public sucks less than spoiled parents.
* I don't feel safe at work.
* I am not fond (yet) of Pumpkin Spice Liqueur.
* My back still hurts a dozen days after I injured it trying to turn and rise from a chair.
* If I sneeze much more, my brains might come out.
* It's a good day when no one pukes in my classroom.
* It's an even better day when I don't puke in my classroom.
* Cheez-Its are the Food of the Gods.* I don't feel safe at work.
* Sharpies are the best pen ever invented.
* My anniversary with my life insurance policy is coming up.
* My life insurance payments are jumping from $26 per month to $103 on the anniversary date.
* I wasn't aware that I was giving the life insurance company such a generous anniversary gift this year.
* My life insurance policy and I are getting a divorce.
* Jericho would've been a great television show if the blond hadn't kept sniffing her fingers in every scene.
* I don't feel safe at work.
* The corn stalk I have wired to my front stoop is getting mighty dried out.
* Can a woodchuck chuck wood?
* Slightly creepy when former students serve me beer in a restaurant or bar.
* Even creepier when a random kid in my study hall says he wants to come home with me for a day and be my son so he can aggravate me. Kid, you do that at school already.
* My own children do not aggravate me. Much.
* It is imperative to keep Immodium in the house just in case someone scares the shit out of me.
* Hallmark cards are too expensive.* I don't feel safe at work.
* Advent Calendars are fun even if they're cheesy.
* My Halloween toys totally rock.
* Today in class I got the kids to sing a Sesame Street jingle, "One of these things is not like the others. One of these things just doesn't belong ..."
* Admit it --You're singing, "... Can you guess which thing is not like the others before I finish my song..."
* Sweet potato fries are the bomb.
* Wait ... Atom is the bomb.
* Cancel that ... Sky Bars are the bomb.
* I don't feel safe at work.
* The world has gone insane.
* I wish I had a license to carry concealed.
* I would volunteer to be a teacher who carries.
* I have pretty sharp aim.
* A steak knife used to cut oranges is an effective deterrent but not a good self-defense weapon.
* Tricking an armed assailant into putting a finger into the pencil sharpener is probably not a realistic defense strategy.
* Their advice: "When faced with an armed intruder, throw a book at him."
* My advice: "When faced with an armed intruder, shoot his sorry ass without compunction and ask questions later."
* A local resident near my work was arrested and charged with breaching the construction site security and performing lewd and lascivious acts.
* We have not yet had a lock-down drill.
* New York sharp cheddar cheese is delicious.
* I do not feel safe at work.
* Though he often tells Rocky he can, Bullwinkle has yet to pull a rabbit out of his hat.
