Conundrum for today:
I need to purchase a combination book/CD for a class I'm
taking in January.
Book/CD is no longer being published.
It is a New Age self-help type book, and New Age was big in
the late 1980s.
Book/CD has two available online - one limited edition for
$300, and another limited edition for $1,000.
Campus bookstore wants $24 for it.
Registration says to order the book/CD through the campus
bookstore.
Campus bookstore does not have this book available online to
order.
Campus bookstore website says, "Call the campus
bookstore to order."
I call the campus bookstore to order the book/CD.
Campus bookstore says, "We don't take orders over the
phone. You have to come in."
"Why do I have to come in?" I ask. "You told me to call and order it."
Campus bookstore says they won't order it until I come in.
"I need to drive forty-five minutes to stand in front
of you so you can actually see me to order the required book/CD?" I ask.
"Yes, you must come in and we need to see you."
"I really exist," I assure them.
"We cannot take orders over the phone."
"But I can't come in, and you won't let me order it online,
and your website says I have to call to order." Ha! I feel like I have a slight edge in this
debate.
"But you cannot order books over the phone. We cannot order the book for your course. You have to be standing in the store to order
books."
"But you have an online bookstore, and this is the only
book that cannot be ordered online. Your
website says I have to call."
Clearly I am stupid.
"We cannot order books over the phone. You have to come--"
(CLICK.)
Before I say something I will regret, like, "It's
obvious you got your degree from the same university where you now work," (because
that actually insults me since I am also here getting my degree, albeit a
fourth one and the first through this university) I hang up the phone. I don't just hang it up, I press the
"off" button with such vehemence that I think my thumb may have
actually shot through the other side of the receiver.
And so the conundrum:
How does one order a book/CD from a place that clearly says I have to
call them if they refuse to take my order through the phone? Chances are if I do take the hour and a half
round trip just to stand and say, "I exist, order my friggin' book,"
they will tell me exactly what I already know:
I have to call the campus bookstore to order the book/CD.
I do not order the book/CD.
I will now fail the course because I do not have nor can I purchase the
required text.
There's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza. There's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, a
hole.
