I FEEL THE EARTH MOVE UNDER MY FEET

I am sitting at the kitchen table, grading papers and minding my own business, when I notice the noise from the townhouse next to me.  It sounds like there is a whole parcel of kids jumping around having a hootenanny, and the floor starts to shake so hard that the walls are even creaking.

There is a grumbling sound as bodies smash around on the other side of the wall, and the noise and movement are more violent than I'm used to.  I briefly wonder if perhaps this isn't children but some kind of escalating domestic dispute.  I stand up, walk into the den, and put my ear against the wall.

As quickly as it starts, everything ceases.  It is eerily silent next door.  I suck in my lower lip and wonder if everyone is okay in the adjoining townhouse or if anyone is dead on the floor because the entire house is now completely still.  I am mulling over the thought of maybe going over, knocking on the door, and making sure everything is all right.  Or maybe I should go get my landlord and make him check it all out.

I decide that it's probably better to pretend I'm dumb.  I will be the Sgt. Schultz of neighbors: "I know NOTHING!" 

It isn't until my friend calls me ten minutes later that I realize what the noise was and what an idiot I am.

SHE:  Did you feel the earthquake?
ME:  Earthquake?  What ... oh ... OHHHHHH.
SHE:  Oh what?
ME:  Oh ... nothing.  It's just that I thought my neighbors had been murdered.  Glad to know it was just a normal seismic event.

The epicenter is about ninety miles north of here, right where my sister is attending  a meeting.  When I finally reach her, she says wryly, "Well, that's one way to get people to join the committee.  We can tell them they'll feel the earth move."

I've only experienced one earthquake before, and it was a minor-sized roller.  I lived in a basement apartment, and the floor wavered as if I were suddenly walking on a small wave.  It was kind of cool, a strange yet unforgettable feeling that I found neither perplexing nor worrisome.  This one, though, was a shaker.  I didn't care for this one so much.  I will say this - I have no desire whatsoever to experience anything like that on a larger magnitude scale.  You people in Cali are freakin' nuts in your heads.

By the way:  October 17th, 1989, this exact day 23 years ago, was the earthquake in California that stopped Game 3 of the World Series between Oakland and SanFran.

I'm just saying.