Ah. Another day,
another flooding rain squall.
 |
| Shark off the port ... er ... PORCH |
We are recovering from Hurricane Sandy and its
remnants. I have to say that my favorite
picture so far didn't make yesterday's blog, but I'll find a place for it
today. It's from Brigantine Beach, NJ,
and it's the stuff nightmares are made of, which is why I am so fascinated with
the image. It gives new meaning to the
old SNL bit about land sharks.
The worst damage I encountered was a huge tree across route
28 on my way to work. There was one lane
going around it, so it was all good.
From what I hear, though, other parts of my town are virtually shut off
and shut down. I had a hard time
grasping that until I tried to drive home from the next town just a short while
ago.
I mean, honestly, I was minding my own business (truly, I
know this is a unique concept for me, but I try to embrace civility every once
in a while), when the skies opened up… again.
Hard to believe after Hurricane Sandy that there might be one more drop
of moisture in the clouds, but it was as if someone turned a faucet on. No matter how fast the wipers went and how
slowly my car went, I couldn't see a damn thing out the windshield. I tried to get a glimpse of the right side of
the road, a white line perhaps, and that was all fine and good until I noticed
that the right side of the road was a roaring brook. Suddenly this roiling water spilled into the
road, and before any of us driving knew it, we needed kayaks to go much
further.
I managed to crawl and swim home, both the car and me doing
a decent imitation of the doggie-paddle.
By now the rain had let up, and I managed to get into the house without
melting ala Wicked Witch of the West. I
started typing this blog entry, innocently intending to jaw about the car-canoe
saga, when a friend just south of here IM'ed that she had to shut down her
computer … because of a storm … yet again.
So I looked at the radar.
I know I shouldn't have, but those who know me also know that I have
expanded cable for one main reason (sports are the second reason): The Weather
Channel. Yeah, Jim Cantore and I have a
thing (he just doesn't know about it).
Holy … Mother … Of … God … what in the hell was all that RED and PURPLE
and… was that a band of downpours or a huge thunderstorm? I could only assume since my pal shut her
computer completely off that we were in for a doozy of an electrical storm.
Luckily, it was a fast mover. Perhaps it knew that the mere appearance of
it on the radar sent panic waves akin to Orson Welles' 1938 broadcast of The War of the Worlds. It was a storm that was all-surrounding and
completely unwelcome after the pounding we already took (which was mild
compared to our neighbors just south of New England). I couldn't help thinking that this huge purple-red-orange-yellow-green
radar splotch that brought such disdain and angst was just like the upcoming
election, which is also rapidly becoming an entity non grata. Like the recent bizarre weather, I just want
the election to be over. I'm at a point
where I don't even give a shit who wins anymore; I just want them all to shut
up, fall into a crevice, trip into an active volcano, or get sucked into outer
space.
If we could just have one day (one hour, perhaps) when the
candidates are required to shut their humongous mouths for an entire
twenty-four hours, no ads and no debates and no public commentary, we might
find the strength keep paddling.
Until then, hand me an extra oar for my kayak. If any of those politicians get close enough,
I'll pretend they're Jersey land sharks and smack the holy hell out of
them. It may not impact the election,
but after the last two days I've had pre/during/post Hurricane Sandy, it'll be
worth every droplet.
PS. Happy Halloween
to Satan and the other guy running for president. Doesn't matter who is who - at this point,
they're sadly but completely interchangeable.
