LEARN HOW TO DRIVE - MY FINGERS HURT

Listen, folks, the middle fingers on both of my hands are mighty tired right now.  I call them "my driving fingers" because I cannot navigate traffic without them and maintain a reasonable heart rate.

It's not my fault.

I'll just be driving along, minding the speed limit, when someone will fly by me right before we lose the lane... only to slow down to 15 mph UNDER the actual speed limit.  That really pisses me off, even more so if it's a one-lane road that goes on forever like route 114.  This move is well-deserving of the One Finger Salute.

Or people who don't yield and expect me to give up MY lane to them because they have some kind of god-given right to drive into and through me.  That's almost two-finger worthy, especially if they pull it on the highway.

Speaking of the highway, just the other day I had an idiot in a small Japanese car (Toyota) weaving in and out of traffic that was moving steadily at 80 mph.  This little bastard was careening around us, in and out of lanes, almost wiping out cars, doing about a buck, maybe even a buck three eighty.  Then ... then ... THEN HE CROSSED THREE LANES OF TRAFFIC TO TAKE THE EXIT.

THAT move, people, was worthy of not only two middle fingers, but also middle toes, screaming rage, expletives I didn't even know my mouth could spew, and a few high blood pressure pills with a water chaser.

Big travel weekend coming up with Columbus Day and all.  I will be south of Boston, which is a strategic advantage this time of year.  Hopefully all the lunatics and a-hole drivers will be up north gawking at foliage.  If not, though,I've got my trusty driving fingers ready, and I'm making sure my vocal chords are in good shape. 

It's looking to be a fingers-up experience, and I'm fully armed ... or ... fingered ... whatev.