Right now your charming island is doing a dance that has already been done and has already won the award for being the most horrifying and the loudest dance of recorded history. Your volcanic activity and earthquakes and seismic happenings are mimicking an infamous series of explosive volcanic eruptions that ended with the 1883 annihilation of Krakatoa.When Krakatoa exploded (and exploded and exploded and then exploded again), more than 70% of the island vaporized. The sound, which could be heard over 3,000 miles away, was so loud that sailors' ear drums burst. The energy wave circled the entire earth something like three or four times.
It all started with some eruptions. Some rumblings. Some volcanic activity. This went on for months until finally ... BAHBOOM. BAHBOOOOOM. BAHFREAKINGBOOOOM. And then, finally and without mercy, BAAAAAAAHFUCKINGBOOOOOOMBAH.
I'm not a betting person, but, kids, if I were anywhere near Hawaii right now, Big Island or not, my ass would be on an airplane so fast my damn underpants would have to fly separately to catch up to it.
It has been fun, Hawaii. Enjoy the eruptions ... but consider a one-way ticket.
