You know those store surveys. The ones that claim you can win gift cards immediately. The ones the cashiers always insist, "Oh, we had five winners last month just in this store..." Those surveys.
Bullshit.
I never win those. I never win anything.
This is why I rarely play the lottery. I hit Megabucks once ... all but one number. The final number was 35. I had 36. It was back when that was only $400 pay-out. I never bought another ticket. It's all bullshit.
I can play poker pretty well -- unless there's money involved. Then, I never win. As a matter of fact, I get super-shitty cards whenever money is involved. No point in bluffing. My luck sucks.
I'm always in the wrong line, driving in the wrong lane, signing up for the wrong class, agreeing to work with the wrong group.
Of course, these crazy-ass experiences add to the awful things that I endure on account of being me, so bully for me that my luck is so incredibly pathetic. How exciting a blog would it be if every day I wrote about all the wonderful, logical, magical things that happen to me in the course of a day?
Boring.
But, really. Truly. Once in a while it would be nice to win: the lottery, a gift card, a damn survey. It has been months since I won a bottle opener at trivia, but that was thanks to people on my team. They won; I just happened to be sitting there.
So, it's safe to send me lottery tickets for Christmas. No worries! I won't win, but I'll have that momentary hopeful feeling right before my feelings get crushed, and it will make one heck of a blog entry.
