Sometimes I'll take those silly surveys online. You know the ones I mean; they claim to guess my age in 20 questions, or tell me what kind of spirit animal I would be if I were, in fact, a spirit animal, or match me up to my perfect pet, or tell me what kind of job I should have that I don't currently have just to make me feel like a failure.
Today I take an online survey to determine what type of story I am.
Now, I'm thinking there is no way this is going to work. I'll come out with the horror genre or perhaps be a kids' book. Perhaps I am a how-to manual or a Greek tragedy. I know I'm not a fantasy genre, but maybe I can be a reference book of some kind, like a grammar textbook.
Every day, every single day of my life, weird shit happens to me. Maybe I'm a sci-fi story along the lines of
Twilight Zone where the only character not "in" on the trippy alternate universe is the idiot protagonist. Certainly this has to be my story.
Here's what I end up with:
Witty and sarcastic with a penchant for cynicism, your tale is one of
Satire! An extremely intelligent individual who's eyes see beyond the
falsity of masks and charades, your trust is never given and only won by
few. You do not take the world at face value, and rather loathe those
who do. Society is full of imperfections, regardless of how far we think
we've come, and you'll be the one to expose it's true face - Brick by
Brick.
Satirical. Sarcastic. Cynical.
Now, there's a big fucking surprise.
I bow to you, Great Internet On-Line Survey. For once in the universe, you are correct.
