I like getting phone calls
from anonymous, unsolicited callers.
No, not those kinds of anonymous callers.
The “unknown number”
people, the telemarketers, the people who won’t stop calling even when I
threaten legal action. (A person
recently won over a million dollars after telemarketers were charged $1,500 per
each unsolicited phone call.)
So, I’ve started a new
tactic.
When I see “unknown
caller,” I answer the phone cheerily. “Why
… HELLOOOOOOOOO!” Then, I put down the
phone receiver and walk away, resuming whatever it was I happened to be doing
before I was interrupted by the unknown moron.
Tonight when I answer the
phone, I am in the middle of mixing up a frozen margarita. I’ve started cleaning the basement, and I
earned a refreshing reward for all of my hard work battling cobwebs and dirt
and dryer lint and dust bunnies the size of, well, bunnies. So, I answer the phone, put the receiver down
on the kitchen table, and resume what I am doing.
I’m no longer at the blending
part; I’m at the pouring part. The sound
the margarita makes going into the cup is kind of a whoosh-plop sound, followed quickly by the faucet turning on to
rinse out the glass part of the blender.
I realize, to my sinister
delight, that it must sound to the caller like I am in the bathroom.
Got to admit – it was the
quickest unsolicited caller hang-up I’ve ever had.
It reminds me of the old Alka
Seltzer commercial – Plop plop fizz fizz
oh what a relief it is!
Can’t wait until the next
unsuspecting idiot phones. (Insert evil laughter and the sound of a sloppy margarita hitting the glass here.)
