THE BIRDS!

My school has been relocated to the old high school while our building is remodeled.  I like the old high school, though it smells a bit and makes me sneeze.  But it's an old-school old school, meaning it's the cinder block walls of our youth with pathetic fire alarm sirens and an intercom system that sounds like tin cans on a string.

The best part about the old high school is the teeny courtyard -- not because we can use it (we cannot), but because there is a large bush that is loaded with birds.

I've yet to see these birds.  I hear them every single morning on my way by the glass and up the ramp to the farthest wing of the school.  The sound in the morning is like something out of Hitchcock's The Birds.  It's creepy and fascinating all at once.

This morning I am determined to see the birds, maybe spot a nest amongst the feathered mayhem.  As I pass near the spot where the bush is, I can hear the incessant cackling, and I can see the bush's branches moving.

However, I cannot see any birds.

I decide to move closer and get right up against the glass.

Suddenly ... silence.  Not a peep.  It's as if no birds exist anywhere on earth.

I step away from the glass and decide to continue on my way.  The moment I turn, the birds starts chirping like mad all over again.

So, I approach the window-wall again, and ... silence.

I try this s few more times, stepping back (tweet tweet tweet) and stepping forward toward the bush on the opposite side of the glass.  Each time the ridiculous noise starts, then stops, then starts, then stops...

I see another teacher in the hallway and call her over.

"I'm kind of busy right now," she says.

"No, really," I insist.  "You've gotta watch this."

I stop her just before she nears where the courtyard starts.

"Hear that?" I ask.  She nods.  "Sounds like..."

"Birds!" she exclaims.

"Now, step forward," I instruct her.

The birds instantly stop chattering and are silent; it's as if they don't even exist in reality.

We run this experiment a few more times until we are laughing too much to sneak up on the little aviary bastards any longer.  They're done with us.  They're not talking.  This makes the whole thing even more hilarious, as if we have entered an alternate universe and no birds exist. 

I'm not going to lie.  I cannot wait to get to school in the morning now that I've discovered The Birds.  Makes me cackle just chirping about it on my blog.  (Insert evil laughter here.)