Elections.
Damn, I know they’re
important,
But I wish …
Oh, how I wish …
That political ads were
illegal.
Life would be so much
better
Without the constant reminder
that
Our cities and our states
and our country
Are all being run by
crooks and
Liars.
It’s to the point where I
am afraid
To turn on the television
To turn on the radio
To open a newspaper
To get my mail
To answer my phone.
Listen, people,
The more you force me to
recycle
Your stupid, ignorant pabulum,
The less I’m willing to
vote for you.
You and your campaign are
wasteful.
I don’t like wasteful.
So I see who you are, and
then
I decide I hate you.
I hate your smear
campaigns
Because smear makes me
think of pap,
So now you’re just another
tool of discomfort.
If your only argument for
yourself
Is against someone else,
I deem you a moron,
An idiot,
A charlatan.
Political ads should be
illegal.
You want to make an
impression on me?
Make yourself visible,
Approachable,
Human.
Otherwise, get the fuck
off my television,
Get the fuck off my radio,
Get the fuck out of the
newspapers,
Get the fuck out of my
mailbox,
And don’t ever, ever, ever
fucking
Call me by robo-dial or by
proxy.
Elections may be
important,
But they’ve become
entertainment,
Like the Side Show, the
Freak Show.
Don’t tell me how to vote.
Get out there and show me
you’re worthy.
Otherwise,
Shut … the … fuck … up …
already.
