MY DAY AND WHY IT SUCKED

My day, and why it sucked:

We are experiencing our first autumn Nor’easter.  Colorful leaves that the wind has stripped from the trees are blowing around in my headlights as I drive to work in the dark, rainy morning.  Damn leaves.  There goes fall.  Damn darkness.  There goes daylight.  Pretty soon it’ll be dark when I leave the house and dark when I come home.  Whooppee.

My stomach decides it doesn’t feel well as soon as I get to work.  Probably shouldn’t have eaten that mini-croissant before I left the house.  Or taken the vitamins.  Or eaten that piece of Land-O-Lakes cheese that was supposed to go on my sandwich for lunch.  Note to self: Stick to chocolate for breakfast.

Some of my students have been at a two-day musical camp at the high school.  They thank me profusely for coming to their performance.  I tell them I wasn’t there.  They say, “Yes, you were!  When they announced that the teachers should stand up, you stood and waved at all of us, and we waved back.  You waved really, really hard!”  Actually, I was at trivia in another state.  At least, I think I was at trivia in another state.  Good lord, did anyone get pictures of me at the bar?  Have I been cloned?  Holy crap, my doppelganger strikes again.

I check my school account and see a curt email from a parent.  We are about to read an episode of The Twilight Zone and one of the students was so scared just thinking about it that a parent had to sleep with her all night.  Later I get a second email nicely telling me that it probably better not happen again.  Ooops.

I call out students in my higher level class who are not turning in homework as I am walking around collecting it.  One student who had four days to write sixteen sentences (and still didn't do it) starts to cry.  I don’t notice right away.  By the time I do, the poor kid is hyperventilating.  As soon as we go out to the hallway so I can calm the cherub down, the principal and vice principal appear out of nowhere.  They’re never in this wing of the building … until … right … that … second. Figures.

The class immediately after lunch comes in.  We’re not in the room more than two minutes when a kid approaches my desk, eyes wide, hand over his mouth.  I yell, “BUCKET!”  He just manages to make it to the trash can, a perfect and direct hit.  I have to shut the door of the room across the hall so he doesn’t have even more of an audience than he already does.  I call the office, ask for a janitor, then grab the kid one of my disposable coffee cups so I can fill it with water.  I also grab him a chair so he and the bucket can coexist.  The all-call goes out over the entire school telling the janitorial staff to report to my room.  Yup – everyone in the building now knows what’s going on in the C-Wing.  Puker!  We have a puker!!!  I actually compliment the kiddo.  Truly, he did a tremendous job keeping himself, his classmates, the floor, the wall, and, most importantly, me and my desk full of papers, all clean and spotless.  The trash can has a bag in it, anyway.  Easy fix.

After this excitement, I have a meeting to attend.  It quite possibly will turn a little dicey, or maybe not.  No one ever knows with these things.  I walk into the office where the meeting will be held and there is a window open.  Not cracked open; wiiiiiiiide open.  The wind and rain fly in and hitting me where I sit, six feet from the sill.  Not only am I cold, my sweater is dampish, and my hair is sparkling with water droplets and starting to frizz.  Yay me for trying to blow it straight this morning.  What the hell was I thinking?  I excuse myself before the meeting ends because it has already run five minutes past my allotted attendance time.  Sorry, but I’ve had a rough day already, folks.

I return to my room.  As the end of the school day nears, last period while I am trying to get myself organized for the following day, some girls stop by to get something for a friend who has laryngitis.  Which friend, I wonder. Why, one of the students I had earlier when we were reading The Twilight Zone teleplay and reciting lines in small groups today.  Yes, I am the mean teacher who apparently made a voiceless girl use her voice because “everyone gets a speaking part.  EVERYONE.”  Coincidentally, this is the same class in which I made a student cry today.  Pissah.

I am supposed to go to a soccer game tonight, but it’s still raining – well, pouring and periodically pouring even harder.  After the day I’ve had, there’s no way I’m going anywhere.  I just want to get home safely without a tree falling on me.  I want to use my blender.  Please, blender, don’t let me down.  You’re my last hope in an otherwise hopeless day.

I’m not checking my work email tonight.  There’s nothing more I want to know right now.  If I’m fired or put onto administrative leave, tell me in the morning.  I don’t think I can take one more thing happening…  wait …

Why are the lights flickering?  Hello?  Is anyone there?  Where are the candles?  Where are the flashlights?  Seriously?  I don’t dare ask what more could possibly go wrong today because I just might find out.

PS - The Internet sucks, and no pictures will load up for this post, but I'm going to try again.

PPS - Thunder wakes me at 3:30 a.m., and that's a wrap, kids.

Damn Nor’easter.  Damn day.  This sucks.