Sooooooo … I have to read an article for the class I'm
taking. The article is on "Right
Speech." It's a section of a
lecture by great Buddhist practitioner Thich Nhat Hanh about only saying nice
things to people, and how we should tell people, "I need to make myself
more mindful before I speak to you so I will be silent for now and talk to you
in some days." I am also supposed
to listen intently so that weird people will attach themselves to me and
presume I am their friend. I seem to
have this problem even without the whole listening thing, so this probably
isn't my best option.
Oh, boy. This whole meditation thing is imploding in
my face. I actually burst out laughing
while reading the essay. I am at my day
job when this happens, and one of my students asks me what I am working on that
is so terribly funny, so I read some of it:
"Not speaking cruelly; Not exaggerating or embellishing; One part
of our consciousness has to play the role of editor; Speak calmly…" I look up with a blank expression and sourly
lament, "Is this guy trying to
kill me?"
Look, I'm all for saying nice things, but I also don't
believe in being a liar. One of my worst
yet most stalwart habits is calling it like I see it, regardless of what that
may be at the moment. My best attribute
is that I am willing (when calm) to see the other side as well and form a
rational opinion, usually somewhere in the middle of the fence between the two
sides. (Even Erma Bombeck knew the grass
was only greener over the septic tank.
No point in stepping into that.)
But, only say nice things?
Never speak with a forked tongue?
Are you kidding me? With the most corrupt administration and
Congress in charge since pre-American Revolution King George III?
Fuck that shit.
I trust my students.
You want to know why? They trust me. The trust me to tell
them when they're doing well and when they're doing poorly, when they're
behaving and when they're misbehaving, when they're being the most amazing kids
on the planet and when they're being butt-heads. And they will do exactly the same for me in
return. I have friends and acquaintances
like that, too. I surround myself with people
who are, and with an environment that is, fun, honest, challenging, sometimes
free of bullshit and sometimes, when need be, totally deep-six full of
bullshit.
That's how I roll. It's
a birth defect, and I doubt any team of psychotherapists or behaviorists will
be able to break me. Thich Naht Hanh is
trying; my professor is trying; my advisor is trying. They all mean well, but it's going to crash
and burn for them, so I hope they're wearing the correct protective garments.
When there's a fundamental disturbance in syntax, believe
me, the grammarian will beat up the Buddhist monk every flipping time. The simple difference between "Right
Speech" and Right Speech is
syntax: "Right Speech" to Hanh
means only speaking things that make people feel right inside by telling only
those truths that are positive; in other words, the sin of omission - the old
"I didn't lie; I just didn't tell you the truth" crap. Right
Speech, in my playbook anyway, means saying the right thing even if it
crosses a line or offends someone because standing up for The Truth is more important than being PC-nicey-nicey.
It may not be the "Right Speech" the monk wants to
hear, but believe me when I tell you it's going to be the god's-honest truth,
cross my heart.
