STOP CALLING, YA POLITICAL BASTARDS

Dear Anyone and Everyone Running for Political Office:

Now that it's November, I have some sage advice for you: STOP CALLING.  No, seriously, stop calling my damn phone.  Stop pretending you're calling from a local number.  Stop pretending you're just taking a survey.  Stop masquerading as someone who gives one shit about me or the things that matter to me.

Where were you when my house was full of gas?  When it got cold and I had no heat?  When I couldn't shower?  When I had to evacuate with no place to go?  When the gas company quit working on the property because the manager had an exhaustion-fueled meltdown?

I NEVER saw you in MY neighborhood, and I'm living at Ground Zero here with all the trucks hauling dirt from the end of my street to fill the holes they've been digging to get the entire town/city/area back on the grid.  I NEVER heard from you when I couldn't get emergency housing or reimbursement or something as simple as answers.

You and your make-believe, absolutely heartless, useless political volunteers (phone-calling, sign-holding, hand-waving pimps) can go straight to Hell and back, and then you can go back again and stay there.

If you call me one more time...

Here's my latest modus operandi when you call me, and yes, I'll answer the phone just to say it.

"Hello? ... Ummmm, hold on.  Can you spell the candidate's name? ... And, what political party is that? ... Oh, really? ... Well, I'm unenrolled, you know ... Okay, you can stop talking now.  I'm voting AGAINST ANYONE who has the audacity to call me begging for support.  Thanks for helping me decide.  Now bugger off."

It's actually very cathartic.  Good luck, ya faceless bastards, and thanks again for ALL of your boots-on-the-ground support during the gas explosions.  I cannot even tell you how much I appreciate your lack of empathy, decency, help, and support.

I hope you all fucking lose.