I've come close a couple of times. I once hit Megabucks for all but one number .... back when that prize was a mere $400. My landlord followed me to the store and took the cash right out of my hands. So much for that windfall.
Oh, sure, I go through the motions. I uncover the magical winning numbers first. Then, I scrape off the overlay to reveal what wonderful prizes I might win. I usually start with the big prizes, knowing I won't be winning any of those. A million dollars!!!!! Ohhhhh, too bad, so sad. Then, I work my way down to the $1 prize.Here's the thing, though. If it's a $5 ticket, a $10 ticket, or more, it should be a guaranteed winner. Seriously. The damn lottery can't spare a lousy $1 on every $10 ticket?!
That's just bullshit.
Anyway, if people want to keep giving me lottery tickets, I am happy to scratch the tickets to reveal my big non-winnings. I am just telling you people, I don't win. I never win. Never, ever. You could have a stack of 99.99999% winners, and I'd pick the one and only losing lottery ticket in the bunch.
So, in a holdover from yesterday's potential for bad luck, I'd like to take this opportunity to say that I enjoy all the lottery tickets that I get over the course of the holidays -- birthdays, Christmas, Saturdays -- and I still have that eternal flicker of hope, "Maybe this time. Maybe I'll win!"
I know I won't though, and it's okay. I'm quite certain at this point the thrill would probably kill me.
