POKEMON FAIL

Enough with the Pokemon Go!

I think it's great that everyone is finally get off their fat video asses and getting outside, even if their faces are still glued to their electronics.  I think it's hilarious yet somewhat creepy that people are playing a live-action, virtual-reality interactive game (which, in and of itself, creates an oxymoron).

However, these sites should be public AND appropriate.  I mean, seriously, U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum?  Arlington National Cemetery? Auschwitz-Birkenau Concentration Camp?  The Sean Collier Memorial?  Really, people?

It's one thing to get outside and interact with other humans (albeit virtually), but it's another thing to be making a total asshole out of yourself.

Parks and open public spaces where interactive, fun activities might be taking place -- those are appropriate places.  My friend catches a whole bunch of these Pokemon suckers when we are in Columbus Park in Boston, a perfectly fine place for such an activity.  She even gets my picture with two different ones, and she also snaps a picture of a Pokemon ball hovering by my feet.

When we get home from Boston, though, my son snaps a picture of a Pokemon character in my kitchen. MY KITCHEN.  I mean, what the fuck ... in my damn KITCHEN!!!!  This means I will probably have prowlers lurking outside the window, maybe even some whackadoodle trying to get in through the screen window to get the Pokemon.

So, I've taken to walking around my house naked.

This is not a pretty sight.  I have had three children and am menopausal.  The vision of my paunch alone is enough to replace smelling salts.  I figure, though, that if Pokemon Go is going to virtually invade my real space, it is within my right to really invade its virtual space.

And if any of you Pokemon Go players decide to try and get the Pokemon character, don't blame me if you peek into my kitchen, spot the Middle-Aged Medusa Go character instead, and turn to stone.