LIGHTING UP THE LAMP

Everyone knows a decent lamp can make or break your sanity.  I've been to lamp shops before.  I don't mean those few aisles in the chain hardware stores; I mean the small stores that are dedicated to lighting of all sizes, shapes, and capacities.

My friend and I need to take her lamps in for some TLC, so we find a specialty lamp shop in a nearby town.  Okay, so it's set up more like a village, but it's really a tourist trap with signs for this attraction and that attraction and other attractions.  We get a spot right in front of the little shop, a true miracle, and I promptly load up the meter behind us with change.

Inside the shop are all kinds of lights and lamps and shades.  Thank goodness for that as this is a lamp shop.

My friend has called ahead, so she is armed with the two lamps (one medium-tall and one rather-tall) and the two shades she needs replaced.  Ready to do battle with the lamp shop clerk, she stands in a short line and gets ready for her turn.

Meanwhile, I am left to wander the store with my cell phone, endlessly snapping pictures of lamps: fillable jars, ones made from such items as liquor bottles, trees, sticks, twigs, baseballs, ceramic tea kettles, beach coral, and local maps.  There's even a lamp with a shade on it from Make Way for Ducklings.

I keep distracting my friend with, "Oh, look at THIS lamp!"  The clerk is trying to sell my friend extra lampshades. I am pulling special orders out of open boxes, including the lacy fringed topper for what can only be a leg lamp.  Truly, this place rocks.

We are almost done, and my friend is standing at the register with her credit card out.  So close, so close.  But, instead, in walks another customer, interrupts the sale with a simple question, and ... off goes the clerk.  Up until this point, everything is sailing along smoothly.  Now, though, we are waiting ... waiting ... waiting ... waiting ...

This is the story of our lives.  If something bizarre can happen, it will always happen to us. 

After about five minutes of our sales clerk being distracted, she comes back over and says, "So, you're all set?"  Um, sure, and we were all set five minutes ago when you walked away in the midst of finalizing the transaction, you goofball.

We go outside and load up the SUV only to discover that the meter I loaded up is for the car now parked behind us.  Ooops.  Luckily, we do not get a parking ticket.  We load up the correct meter and head over the the cheese shop, which turns out to be closed.  Also closed is the antique store, the clothing store, the cafe, etc.  Apparently, most of the stores are not open on any given weekday, but they're open every weekend because it's a tourist town.  We are not quite sure why weekdays are off limits as a nearby famous pond is packed full every single day. 

Back at the vehicle, we high five the shade-wearing statue out front, check the car once more for any parking tickets, and recheck the security of the lamps in the back.  If a decent lamp can make or break our sanity, it's extremely important that we get the lamps back to the house in one piece.