I need to stop into the store for about five minutes, for a total of eight items. I feel confident that my loot will lead to a quick get-away. I can wait in the express aisle with my fewer than twelve items! Woohoo!!!
The only problem is the woman in front of me. She already has four bags full of groceries (clearly more than a dozen items). What she is doing in the express check-out line is a mystery (and a bit of an itch), so I am forced to wait in the regular check-out line, along with other shoppers avoiding the over-the limit woman, in the line with the slow cashier. Maybe I'll get out sooner than the now-slower line, which is supposed to be the express line.
Before I make my final decision on a line, my blood starts to boil. The lady in the express check-out keeps going back into the store aisles to add more stuff to the conveyor belt. I blame her for being a numbers-challenged moron, but I also blame the express cashier who started ringing her full grocery cart in the first place.
This is one of life's everyday conundrums that will never be solved. As I stand there with my eight items, waiting and waiting and waiting, it pisses me off. It's not rocker science, folks; then again, maybe it is. Boooo.
