First, there's Jeep Guy. Jeep Guy is trying to pull an SUV forward into the parking space we already occupy. Why is Jeep Guy doing this? Because Jeep Guy wants a pull-through space. Yes, we all like the pull-through spaces, but, dude, we are already in the damn space in front of you. What are you going to do? Push us out of the way?
The other problem with Jeep Guy is that he is not a guy at all. When Jeep Guy gets out of the Jeep, we instead see that it is a woman with a Crew-let. Maybe it's a Mul-cut. Either way, it's a short crew cut in the front with a longer back that has been molded and sprayed into a concrete rendition of the old Duck's Ass (or DA) haircut. It's a crew cut / mullet combination that splays out in the rear like it has its own flight pattern. Jeep Guy is really Jeep Gal. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
We ditch Jeep Gal then Bicycle Babe arrives. Bicycle Babe is probably mid-to-late fifties, fully geared up from head to toe, and she is wandering the store in compression pants and a sponsored nylon shirt.
And a helmet.
Here's why it matters to me. It matters to me because, statistically speaking, now 2/2 people we encounter are slightly off-kilter. That's 100% of the population, statistically speaking. Plus, now they're making me go and do math on my summer break from school.
See? You're freaking me out, folks.
