I have a moth in my
house.
It has been in my house
for three days, and I’m not really sure how the poor sucker is even alive
anymore. I’ve whacked at it several
times, but, like Iron Man, the thing just keeps on flying around. Finally, I stopped trying to kill it. It is my new pet, and I named it Mothman.
Today during the family
barbecue, I leave the front and back doors open for way too long. Still, Mothman stays inside the house. Maybe my new pet is smarter than he appears
because as we are all sitting outside eating grilled hamburgers and hotdogs and
chicken teriyaki, it starts to rain big fat globs all over everything and
everyone.
Later, after the rain
stops, I go outside to clean the grill, leaving the doors open again. Even as the sun breaks out and the skies
clear to a bright blue, Mothman clings to my den wall.
Several hours pass, and I
am in my office (which is more like a storage bin with all of my work stuff
piled around me) doing some computer work and watching television. I am actively switching between reruns of Sons of Liberty and the Boston fireworks
(which really aren’t that great on TV, to be honest – not enough hang time and
too much residual smoke for the cameras).
Suddenly a movement out of
the corner of my left eye catches my attention.
Oh, it’s Mothman, I surmise.
But, when I look over, it
is not Mothman; it is some giant, ugly, black flying bug that probably flew in
the open door while I was trying to give Mothman its freedom. I close the office door and run downstairs to
grab a fly swatter. When I return, I
find that the dang bug is over some furniture and work junk, making it
impossible for me to reach the nasty insect.
I call for my
over-six-feet-tall son, who whacks at the bug.
It falls behind everything and lands on a picture frame that is on the
floor waiting for some kind of repurposing.
From there I plop it easily into the trash bucket nearby.
Damn interloper.
Mothman is my only pet, you
freakazoid bug.
Yup, I’ve lost it. All because I have a moth in my house. I wonder if this would make a solid defense
in court. Don’t even ask me why this
matters; that’s a blog for another day and will probably require bail money.
