Most of the reality TV I
watch consists of random HGTV shows. I’ll
watch Property Brothers and Love It or List It if nothing else is
on. I’ll go out of my way to watch Income Property, but I’m not a fan of
the rehabbers or the flippers.
I’ll also watch Project Runway, but only if I remember
and if I have the attention span for it.
I have long since given up any of the Real Housewives, though I did enjoy watching the faux NYC countess
make an ass out of her stupid lowlife self over and over again every week, at
least for a season or two. I don’t even
know if any of the Real Housewives
series still exist.
Sometimes I’ll tune in to
the Military Channel or watch the shows about guns or about cars being chopped
into better cars, and I watched the show about people jousting, though I think
it probably only lasted a season. I
guess watching people get gored, lacerated, trampled, broken, then stitched up
and sent back into play only works on the Discovery Health channel.
I am, however, a true devotee
of the local sensation, Gloucester-based Wicked
Tuna.
First of all, for anyone
who watches the show, yes, we really do talk like that. Yup.
Not all of us and not all the time.
I’m a Masshole who had a few transplant experiences in New Hampshire,
where we pronounced all of the letters in the alphabet. I will admit that my Boston accent only comes
out when I’m at a major sporting event, a major drinking event, or when I’m
wicked pissed (translation: very angry)
about something that is probably ridiculously stupid and unimportant. You know, like politics.
I don’t have a favorite
captain nor a favorite boat on the show Wicked
Tuna. Paul used to drive me nuts
(does he ever shut up?!), but he has grown on me, especially when he partnered
with crazy-ass Tyler in Wicked Tuna:
North vs. South. And I am a Tyler
fan, even though I know he’s the dark horse favorite, the one fans love to
hate, who seems to defy the odds and makes a decent showing (winning) for
himself and his boat, or he sucks so bad you feel sorry for him. Getting back to
Paul, I’m loving that he has his own boat to captain now, especially when he’s
all up in Dave C.’s grill.
And speaking of Dave C.,
he is a bit too intense. He needs to
smile a bit more, maybe have some fun, smoke some pot or something. Dave M., on the other hand, is probably the
least intense of the bunch. He is full
of wisdom, but he is the unluckiest guy out there. He is like the Schleprock of the bunch, or
maybe he’s the Ancient Mariner. Either
way, it’s either a black cloud of doom or the albatross around his neck, but he
has to find a way to shake that shit off.
TJ would be a lot more
likeable if he spent more time fishing and less time talking smack. The more he badmouths The Kid (Tyler), the
more I root for the NH boat Pin Wheel and the more I curse TJ and Hot
Tuna. He’s a good fisherman, but he’s
kind of a dink sometimes. Maybe the
editing makes him that way and all of his goodness is left on the cutting room
floor. I’m willing to give him the
benefit of the doubt, but he still irritates the hell out of me when he’s
onscreen.
I don’t know shit about
the two Bills. They’re newer, and, if
memory serves me, one of them likes to stand on the plank like Captain Hook and
spear fish with harpoons from above, aided by an airplane fish spotter. Have to admit, it might be brilliant if they
all used air-based spotters. Why this
pilot doesn’t sell his info for big bucks is beyond my realm of expertise. The other Bill is kind of a hapless Charlie
Brown, and I haven’t had much chance to root for the poor guy. Who knows?
Maybe this season his luck and my lack of concern will both change.
Either way, my reality TV
fix returns Sunday night, and by Monday I’ll be in Wicked Tuna heaven because the local boys are back.
