I go on a scavenger hunt
today. I go searching for my grill.
I’ve no intention of
actually using my grill, at least not today, but I am sort of worried about it
underneath all that snow. There’s about
three feet (give or take an inch or two) resting on top of it, and the snow
pile is so severe that I’m not even certain where the grill is anymore. I’ve got a general notion where it was when I
left it in the fall, but now … it’s a crapshoot.
I start digging where I
think it is, where I think I left it. I
know it’s near the front stoop. The
trash cans are buried to the right, the recycle bin is somewhere near the
middle, and the grill is to the left a little bit. I mean, I think it’s to the left. I can still see the very top of the fence,
the same fence I have been dumping snow over into my neighbor’s yard, so I at
least have that vantage point; I know for sure that my grill is on my side of
the fence.
A few minutes into the
digging process, I realize that I’m going to have to shovel some more snow off
the stoop. I have steps on either side
of the landing, and I have only shoveled the steps leading to the walkway and
out to the driveway. I’m going to have
to unbury some of the steps leading to the patio itself because the snow is too
deep and unsteady for me to shore myself up to shovel the spot where I believe
I will find my prize.
The next issue is a repeat
of the issue that’s plaguing everyone: where to put the snow as I dig out. I start shoveling snow further onto the
patio, but it quickly becomes an impossible task as the snowbank is as tall as
I am once I dig out the steps. I pop
back up to the landing and start chipping away at the packed snow, shoveling it
(where else?) over the fence and into my neighbor’s yard. I have to be very careful not to throw with
too much force lest I hit the house and alert the homeowner as to my evil snow
removal technique.
Suddenly, a smidgen of
color appears. I can see a small section
of the now-ripped tablecloth I threw over the grill when winter first started …
you know, just in case it might snow a little.
Score! I know where to dig! It’s like finding a survivor in an
avalanche. Suddenly I am consumed by the
urge to dig that sucker out as fast and efficiently as I can without damaging
anything. It is, after all, a nearly-brand-spanking
new grill.
Finally, my grill emerges
from the white cocoon that had surrounded it.
I grab a large trash bag and try to re-cover it the best I can since
much of the current cover is shredding as a result of the extreme cold and the
weighty snow. Now, if the power should
go out and I need to grill anything, I can.
Except I’m not sure how
much propane is left in the small canister, and the other canister is outside
because it dropped on my tile kitchen floor and dented, and I was afraid it was
going to burst and explode everywhere, so I put it out in a recycle bin that is
now sitting under about five feet of snow somewhere slightly to the right of
the grill.
At this point, I give
up. I can see the grill, and, right now
anyway, that’s all that matters. I
secure the plastic on the grill, smile at my handiwork, stomp the snow off my
boots, and call it a day.
