CANDLEPIN GIRL AT HEART

For some odd reason, my daughter, her friend, and I decide to go bowling. 

They want to go ten-pin bowling, but here in New England, ten-pin is a somewhat rare event.  The few local places that offer ten-pin are usually mobbed because they're multi-plexes that offer indoor golf and video arcades and rides for little kids.  Plus, it's raining out and it's a weekend.  That means everyone and his brother and uncle will be piled into the popular bowling alleys.

Instead, I convince them to go for the candlepins. 

Candlepin bowling is unheard of in most of the continental United States.  That's because Massachusetts invented it.  Players roll Revolutionary War cannonball-sized bowling balls with which the players get three chances instead of two to knock down all the pins on each turn, and there's none of that stupid clearing of the downed pins in between a player's own turn -- using the dead wood as play is what makes this whole game so damn entertaining.

Besides, I know an out-of-the-way bowling alley that offers glow bowling and doesn't laugh at me when I say, "Bumper lane, please."

I love bowling.  When I first moved to Massachusetts from a tiny village in New Hampshire, I discovered a bowling alley within walking distance of my junior high.  I spent babysitting money there after school, despite the fact that the balls often fell off the ball-return and rolled back down the lanes at me while I bowled.  The place was right next to the junk yard, so very fitting, and it was one of the greatest places I ever found to go in my entire life.

Yes, I do love bowling, but I only go an average of once every three years or so.  You see, I totally suck at it.  That's why I like bumper lanes.  I don't often use the bumpers, but I hate gutter balls.  Even worse than gutter balls, though: I am notorious for hitting the 7-10 split.  This means that first I peg off only the farthest pin to the left, and then I peg off the farthest pin to the right.  This is often followed by rolling a ball to either side exactly where it has already been.

Yup, even with the bumpers, I can roll a two like it's my damn job.

I get excited when I break sixty in a game, especially if I do it without the bumpers.  Actually, I bowl a spare in one of the three games we play.  Of course, I follow that up with another 7-10 split, so I get to add one stinking point to my score.

If you've never bowled, definitely go glow bowling.  It's a blast, and you can blame the colors and effects for your score.  But, if you're not from these parts (parts of Canada and the entire New England area - or, at least, the only parts that matter), you've got to try candlepin bowling when you're here. 

Unless, of course, you're easily frustrated, easily embarrassed, or both.  If that's the case, go hang out with the ten-pin crowd.  Me?  I have no shame.  I'm a candlepin girl at heart.