I'm recovering from a bruised ankle bone, so I bring my crutches to school with me, just in case I have to walk down the long hall or in case we have a fire drill or some such stupidity. The nurse brings me a couple of ice packs for my ankle, and I'm doing a pretty good job shuffling around the classroom ala Tim Conway on The Carol Burnett Show.
Halfway through the morning I look outside. My classroom overlooks the main entrance and parking lot, so I see a lot of stuff going on in the course of my workday. Today I see the big red fire truck. Not too long after that, the alarm in my room goes off.
"There is an emergency in your building. At the sound of the evacuation tone at the end of this recorded message, proceed to the nearest exit..."
Oh. Shit. Olski.
I grab my attendance binder (god forbid I lose a kid anywhere), one crutch, and start booking it as fast as my gimpy ass will go across the parking lot to a safe spot. Within minutes, the alarm stops blaring, the lights stop blinking, and we are allowed back into the classroom.
But, seriously. Why would I ever think that this would be easy?
Once we are all safely back in my classroom, I notice that the strobe light fire alarm is still flashing in my room. The vice principal cannot fix it, so he covers the strobe light with paper and calls maintenance. Maintenance guys arrive, and instantly start poking fun of my predicament.
ME: I like the strobe effect. It's very disco. Maybe I'll see the Bee Gees.
MAINTENANCE: It is very 1970's in here.
ME (singing): Staying alive, staying alive, oooh-oooh-oooh-ooooooh, staying alive! Thanks to my strobe light alarm, we can ALL stay alive.
Ten minutes later, my expected group of students pops in from lunch. One of the students starts singing the exact Bee Gees song I was just singing, "Staying Alive."
ME: Did you hear me singing that? Were you in the hallway during lunch?
STUDENT (clearly dumbfounded): No. It's a Bee Gees song.
Good lord, I cannot even wrap my head around the fact that he knows who the Bee Gees are. Even stranger, what are the odds that he and I would be singing the same exact obscure Bee Gees song within minutes of each other?
But, wait. That's not the weird part.
I stay at work very late. We are doing interviews for a new hire. I hobble out to my car sometime after 4:00, dragging my crutches back home with me, sit in my car, take a few deep breaths to rid myself of the school day, and start my car.
Staying alive, staying alive, ooh oooh, ooooh, ooooooooh, staying aliiiiiiiiive!"
What are the odds OF THAT? These are the things that happen to me. I take it as a sign to get my hurt ankle and myself home and stay there. Staying alive, indeed.
