Nope, not longer days of sunlight.
Nope, not trees starting to bud.
Nope, not the birds chirping at annoyingly early hours.
Nope, not plants sprouting out of the ground.
Nope, not relentless rain causing floods.
Nope, not kids playing sports outside on fields.
Nope, not the mulch delivery at the soon-to-open farm stand.
Nope, not the sudden appearance of tulips in the stores.
Nope, not swimsuits taking over clothing departments.
Nope, not the sound of children running around outside.
The first real sign of spring is people driving like assholes,
merging onto highways without looking,
then trying to run my car off the road --
like it's MY fault I am driving along in the lane THEY want.
Yup, there it is, folks.
Today I am almost hit not once, not twice, not three times.
Today four different vehicles play chicken with me,
two of them at speeds exceeding 70 mph,
acting like it's my fault they want the lane my car and I occupy.
When my middle finger can actually
make it out of the OPEN WINDOW
faster than my voice can yell,
"FUCK YOU, DICKWEED!" --
I know for certain that spring has sprung.
