SORRY, APRIL - THIS IS HOW IT'S DONE

For all the people who have been addicted to and obsessed with April, the incessantly pregnant giraffe: Suck it, kids; you've wasted your time.

Oh, sure, the birth, which finally happened this past weekend, was weirdly fascinating as April pranced around with two hooves sticking out of her rear-end.  It was a little creepy as zookeepers with cell phones jockeyed for the best video angle of April's bulging and swollen lady-bottom. 

Easter morning finds me at Sturbridge Village with my sister.  Every time we drive out this way, we always say we're going to stop and visit this recreation 1830's farm mini-town.  This time, that's exactly what we do. 

Many people just walk through the living museum of the village and never interact with the period-players.  My sister, though, asks a lot of questions.  This is how we learn that the oxen teams are not all village-centered, as some of the teams are from real, modern-day nearby local farms.  It's how we discover secrets of the potter, the blacksmith, the tin smith.

It's how we discover that a calf has been born this morning and we get to see it.

How about that, April?  This big beefy mama just did her business without any hoopla whatsoever.  She didn't need a live Internet feed 24/7, nor did she need zoologist-vets who apparently cannot discover the gestation periods of their own zoo animals. 

Sorry, April, but in the realm of natural progression, YOU LOSE. My sister and I get to see the baby, along with the little lambs that have also recently arrived.

Don't get me wrong; spending hours and days waiting and spending weeks watching the live-feed camera can be fascinating.  But, April the giraffe sucks when it comes to perfect timing.  What are the odds I actually stop this once at Sturbridge Village after all of my travels through there over the past few years between family business and countless college lacrosse games? 

Thank you, Sturbridge Village, for being open on Easter Sunday, and thank you, livestock, for not wasting a lot of time with your birthing show.  Welcome, little calf.  See, April?  THIS is how it's done.