RIPPING OFF THE BOONDOCK SAINTS

Almost half-time in the Super Bowl (or Superbowl, depending on which website you check), and I've yet to see a commercial worth writing home about.  The Bud Light one was kind of funny, but, since this country's politics are in the toilet right now, that kind of ruined the moment.

But let's talk about Willem Dafoe in a dress, shall we?  Hahaha, isn't he so funny!  Oh.  Wait. We've seen Dafoe in a dress before.  Yes, yes, we here in Boston most certainly have.  (I could do the research, but Dafoe strikes me as the kind of guy who would pull this stunt a few times since he does it so well.)

The commercial in question is a Snickers commercial.  Sorry, Snickers, but there's no way you'll ever top the Betty White football shtick, although Danny Trejo as Marcia Brady was pretty stinking funny the first time I saw it.  In the 2016 Super Bowl commercial, Dafoe is a cranky Marilyn Monroe, and it's ... well ... just ... not ... funny.  It's not funny, at least not to me.

Instead, the commercial is giving me a major flashback to the first time (and every time since) that I ever saw the 1999 classic film The Boondock Saints.  Dafoe plays agent Paul Smecker, who, over the course of pursuing the MacManus brothers (and father, eventually), comes unglued when he starts blurring the lines between the written law and the moral right.  To gain access and abet the bloody take-down of some Boston-area bad guys, Smecker (Dafoe) dons a wig, a skirt, garters, and a few other feminine essentials to transform himself into the precursor of Caitlin Jenner.

Anyone who has witnessed the scene I'm referring to will instantly understand why seeing Dafoe in a dress, any dress, is ultimately more disturbing than the fact that he/she needs a Snickers bar to morph into Marilyn Monroe.  In the movie, he kicks ass (maybe a little more frontal) in high heels, and the lip quiver after shooting the bad guy is epic.  Nearly as epic, I might add, as his posturing to classical music at the scene of a gang-style massacre in which he sings out, "It was a FIREFIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Snickers, I know you and your ad people had good intentions.  Maybe you wanted to dredge up the murderous imagery and maybe you didn't, but it's not cool.  So not cool.  The only unglued Dafoe in a dress belongs to the streets of Boston, to our moment in film history. 

The Super Bowl already robbed us of Tom Brady.  Don't rob us of The Boondock Saints, as well.  Bastards.