The other teachers who arrive early are all coincidentally named Catherine/Katherine: Cathy, Cathy, and Kathryn. I sometimes joke that I need to change my name. Once in a while if I see any of them pulling in to the lot, I'll wait for Cathy or Cathy or Kathryn. Lately it has been too cold in the mornings to hang around, but today it's relatively warm at 21 degrees, and I see Cathy's SUV pulling in.
Certain it's Cathy or Cathy, I stand in the access road, begging to be hit. As the SUV gets closer, I cannot tell which Cathy's vehicle it is, but it has to be one of them. No one else is this early who parks down in our teacher lot. So, as I stand there, I stick my ass out and point.
"Hit me," I dare the driver. "Hit me and put me out of my misery."
It isn't until the SUV is practically on top of me that I realize it's NOT New Hampshire Cathy. It's not Local Cathy. It's not even Kathryn. As a matter of fact, the driver zooms past me, through our lot, and backtracks to the high school lot.
I realize, to my horror and embarrassment that it is either a teacher I do not know, a student, or, worse, a parent. I have just butt-battled a nameless SUV operator.
By the time I let myself into the building, I am laughing so hard I am choking. I'd pay money to see that driver's face and pay even more money to hear the expletives coming out of his/her mouth trying to maneuver around me and my giant ass.
Ah, well. At least I keep myself entertained. After all, it's going to be a long, contentious day. Might as well start it off with a damn good chuckle at my own expense.
