EMO FOR ENO

Someone stole my SmartBoard!  Oh, all right, I'll admit it:  My school claims it's too expensive to buy the teachers' access subscriptions for our SmartBoards, so they replaced them with crappy ENO boards that don't work.

Where did our old, perfectly fine SmartBoards go?  To the elementary schools ... because apparently THOSE teachers ARE worth buying access subscriptions for. 

Sucks to be us.

Meanwhile, the ENO boards in the school have worked off and on for about three weeks over the course of the seventeen weeks we have been in school.  I finally complain loudly enough that my ENO board has become the "test board."  Every day the technology needs to be unplugged, reset, and retooled.  My ENO board has gone through three stylus pens, four new receivers, and has required service to supposedly fix the Bluetooth technology.

I can sometimes trick it into working for days if I never, ever shut off my computer. Over the weekend we have a massive rain storm and gusty winds, losing electricity at the school.  You know what's coming, don't you?  Yup.  I walk in Monday morning to a red light ENO board; no connection available.

I file another tech ticket, which, since I am still the test case, moves my ticket along fairly efficiently because  God cannot even help us if word gets out to the community that the technology they shelled out hundreds of thousands of dollars for is nothing more than useless crap.  I've smartened up, though.  In addition to filing a tech ticket, I "cc" the tech guru directly because this conundrum of techno-shit-storm fascinates him, so he beats the recovery team to my room.

Lest anyone thinks we teachers do not have a sense of humor about technology being useless around here, I decide to greet the tech crew with my own response to the inconvenience of having a completely useless "white board" in my room.  I take out a pencil, an index card, a Sharpie marker and some tape.  Then, I make a white flag that says, "ENO Board -- We surrender."  I tape it to the ENO board receiver and call it a day.

Thankfully, the tech guru has a sense of humor.  The ENO board?  Not so much.  Eventually the ENO light goes from red (not working) to blue (working), but it's okay.  Unlike the SmartBoard, I can write on this sucker with white board marker.  I'm not supposed to, but, hey, if I have to keep punting every morning, I might as well surrender to that reality.  Unlike technology, the regular markers work, don't give me any trouble at all, and are not controlled by the whims of electricity.

Long live regular old felt-tipped markers!  Damn this new-fangled technology.  By the way, innovative technology couldn't save the Titanic, either, so I rest my case.  If you want an ENO board, you know where to find one.  Please.  My white flag and I will thank you in the end.